A Burden
by cannibalistic-queen
Summary: Hidan thinks that he is always a burden to everyone so he runs way from everything, including his boyfriend Zetsu....


Why? Why am I such a burden to every one? My parents, my grandparents and now Zetsu. I could almost rip my heart out from shame. The one person that I loved the most in this world and I was dragging him down with me. I cried silently on my bed and although it was mostly from sadness, I was also slightly happy. Happy for Zetsu and that I won't be a burden to him for much longer. Only one more day. I sighed and decided to finish packing my necessary belongings.

**The next day at school**

"Good morning, Hidan" Zetsu greeted me like he did every morning, his white side being polite as usual. He followed with a good morning kiss before he grabbed my hand and made our way to first period, punctual as usual. Zetsu hated to be late. Then we would go to all our classes (No skipping. Only stupid people who had no hope for a future would skip, according to Zetsu's white side).

However, the one time of the day that was always different was lunch. Zetsu and I would always go up to the roof and have some "alone time" but of course, that would vary every day. sometimes we just ate lunch together or maybe we would hook up in broad daylight. As we made our way to the roof that day I found myself getting increasingly nervous. I also couldn't decide what I'd rather have us do. talking could lead us down a bad path and well, if we did anything "physical" I don't know if I could bare to leave that night. Well, I guess I'll just go with the flow and see what happens...

Zetsu grabbed my hand and we quickly made our way out of fifth period. I guess he was excited to get to the roof. The very concept made me feel guiltier than I thought humanly possible. As much as I wanted to complain about the quick pace we were walking at or how tight he was squeezing my hand, for once I decided to keep my fucking stupid-ass mouth shut. It was bad enough he would have to deal with me suddenly leaving him. I knew that it would be better for him that way, but I knew that it would be hard for him at first.

When we got to the top of the roof, Zetsu dragged me to the far corner before lovingly embracing me. His lips touched mine in a short sweet kiss and we stared at each other in silence. Finally it was broken.

"Hidan, what's wrong?" Zetsu's white side asked, compassionately.

"Yeah, you seem bothered. Has anybody been doing anything to hurt you?" This time it was Zetsu's black side. He has always been overprotective of me. It really was sweet. And, as much as everybody thought Zetsu was a freak because of his schizophrenia, I actually found it quite endearing. Everybody had some sort of mental disorder, whether thay believed it or not, and Zetsu's was just another contributing factor to his personality.

"No, I'm fucking fine." I answered as cheery as possible wanting to make him feel better. I knew that Zetsu knew I was faking it, but he knew not to push me. I always told him in good time. Well, except for this time of course, but I decided to keep that bit of information to myself.

Zetsu pulled out his lunch (I wasn't even sure what it was, although he seemed to eat it everyday) and then a ham sandwich that he made for me. He always made me lunch, knowing I could barely afford rent. As nice of him it was to do that, It made me feel so guilty. Everything he did for me made me feel that way. I might as well just use him for sex and food.

Lunch passed by fairly quickly and silently, thank god, and we made our way to our separate sixth period classes. We only had eighth period together in the afternoon and that was a study hall.

When eighth period rolled around, I sat in my usual seat next to Zetsu. I pulled out my headphones, blasting death metal into my ears. About midway through the period and right when the song Merciless Cult began playing, a felt a piece of paper settle against my lap. I picked it up, quite curious. Zetsu firmly believed in getting work done so usually I didn't talk to him during study hall.

'Hidan, meet us at the swings after school. We're worried about you...

love, Zetsu

ps. Hidan you better tell us what's wrong! I want you to feel happy and the fact that you aren't is pissing me off!'

Well, the ps. was definately from Zetsu's black side. I chucked inwardly. Jashin, I would miss him so much. I pulled myself together, reminding myself that I was merely a burden to him. Just like I was to everyone who loved me before....

**Flashback to when he was five**

Amaya, Hidan's mother walked up to her son, picking him up gently.

"Ok, honey, do you have all your important stuff packed?"

"Yeah, I finished like five fucking hours ago, mommy." Hidan said, smiling up at his mother. She smiled back, although her smile was definately a sad one. As much as she hated to do it, this needed to be done. Hidan was just too much for her and her husband. Even at five he already had a serious swearing problem, and a week after they enrolled him at the local elementary school, he got expelled for trying to murder a classmate. Hidan had only met his father twice, but hr had adopted that crazy religion, Jashinism, from him and also a severe swearing problem.

Amaya sighed, "Good job, honey. Mommy and daddy will be done soon. Why don't you just go to sleep and we'll be there before you know it." Hidan frowned at his step-father being called daddy, but didn't lash out and start screaming like usual. Instead he decided to take his mommy's advice, and sleep. He was really tired.

The next thing Hidan knew, he was pushed out of the car onto a street he had never seen before, his suitcase soon following. He didn't know what to do, and had to stop himself from crying as he watched the car with his mommy and step-father spead off. He was only five, but he still refused to cry.

The building he was infront of was an orfanage and Hidan went there for the night. However, the next morning his grandmother on his father's side picked him up, after the orfanage contacted her. He was happy and thought someone may have actually cared, but little did he know, the same thing would happen again.....

**End Flashback**

I sighed. I knew I didn't have it in me to deny Zetsu's request. What was I going to tell him though? I nodded in Zetsu's direction, knowing that he would see it and continued pondering as to what I should say to him.

______________________________________________________________________________

I sat on the swings waiting for Zetsu's arrival. It didn't take long and I found myself once again in a situation where I was alone with him with nothing to say. The first thing he did was oull me into a quick forecfull kiss, somehow managing to leave me panting for air.

"Hidan-chan, we know we told you that we wanted you to talk, but we can wait for tomorrow afternoon, if you want. You can take tonightand just be alone, but tomorrow we expect an explaination." Zetu smiled lovingly at him. I was so relieved.

"I'll fucking tell you tomorrow" I promised, puting a goofy smile on my face. I immediately felt guilty for making a promise I knew I would have to break, but I tucked that feeling away, like every other one. Zetsu smiled and gave me a quick kiss goodbye, before walking away. I watched him walk away until I couldn't see him and then hurried off to finish packing up the remainder of my things.

________________________________________________________________________________

I made sure that I had my train ticket before quickly making my way out of my one bedroom apartment. I had used up almost all of my money purchasing a one way train ticket from Konaha to Suna, but I knew it was worth it. The train was going to leave in two hours, so I had plenty of time to get there. It was only a one-hour walk. However, I wanted to get out of the general area, just incase Zetsu was out so I huried. I made it there in record time and thankfully I hadn't run into Zetsu or any of our "friends".

I had to wait a bit, but finally the train arrived. I wa sone of the first bording, so I thankfully got a good seat. I waited (rather impatiently) for the train to leave the station. It seemed to be taking forever! I could feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach as I finally began to feel nervous. What if this didn't work. I started to sweat and freak out. Finally the train started moving.

I looked over and the first thing I saw was some fucking idiot running through the train. He was to far away so I couldn't really pick out any specific features, but as he got closer and closer to me he started looking more and more like Zetsu. Oh no, I could feel the fucking fluttery butterflies agian. Seriously all I wanted was for him to be happy. I started to silently pray to Jashin that that was not Zetsu. But then I heard the screaming.

"HIDAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Zetsu's black side was screaming at me. I also started seeing the tears that were running down his cheeks. I hated to admit it, but seeing him in distress like this was quickly breaking my heart.

When he got to my seat he fell to his knees infront of me. His black side was obviously furious with me, but his white side was heartbreakingly sad. His white side cryed continuously as his black side screamed at me.

"Why?! Why the fuck did you leave us Hidan!? We LOVE you, you fucker!" I couldn't think of anything to say in reply. I was astounded. Sure, I thought Zetsu would be sad, but not THIS sad.

"Why did you come on the train? Why the fuck are you trying to stop me Zetsu?!" I didn't realize, but my voice was high pitched and shaking, and I had raised it to a high decibal.

Zetsu's black side once again replied. "We came to your appartment to surpise you. We knew you were fucking upset about something so we wanted to try and make you happy!" I felt my heart immediately fill with happiness at the thought of him doing that just for me, but that emotion was quickly replaced with guiltiness. Even in trying to make everything better by running away, I was a burden to Zetsu.

"Why the fuck did you run away from us Hidan!?" He once again demanded.

I decided that the best choice of action was to answer him. "I am a burden to you! Don't lie and spew out some shit that I'm not cause I am. I AM A BURDEN TO EVERYONE!!" I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes and I fought hard to push them back. I never cried. I was stronger than that.

Zetsu's white side finally stopped cying and looked up at me. "Hidan, you're not a burden to us, love. We have never even thought that. Everything we do is simply because we love you, more than we have ever loved anything. And you pay us back every second your with us. Your very pressence is enough to make us feel like we've died and gone to heaven. Please don't leave us, love! Your not a burden to us like you were to your mom and grandmother." Just him saying that brought back memories.

**Flashback to when Hidan was thirteen**

Hidan was even happier at his grandmothers than he was at home. Actually, his grandmother's house had become home to him. She had accepted his religion and swearing problem (she also had a severe swearing problem). Although she wouldn't let him sacrifice humans to his god, she took him to get animals like squirrels and bunnies. She had also given him the basement to do sacrifices and preform rituals.

Hidan was so happy there and felt like he could tell his grandma anything. She was such a wonderful accepting person and when he discovered his sexuality he thought he would have no problem telling his grandma.

Hidan was in the kitchen, grabbing a snack, he had just spent the last few days foodless because he had been doing a ritual. "Hey, gram, can fucking talk about something?" He asked, his purple eyes big and innocent.

"Well, of coures Hidan, we can talk about any fucking shit you want. What's up?"

He cleared his throught unsure of why he was so hesitant to tell his gram this, he told her everything else. "Umm...Grandma, fuck, I'm gay..." he stated, plastering his signature goofy smile opnto his face.

Her face turned suddenly pale and she stood up, trembling with rage. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FAGGOT!" she screamed as she began throwing whatever she could find at him.

Hidan couldn't think of anything else to do but run. Luckily he had enough money for a bus ticket and soon found himself in the large city of Konaha.

**End Flashback**

I couldn't stop myself from crying this time and could feel a warm tear roll down my cheek before Zetsu wiped it away. "Come on love" Zetsu's white side said.

"We're getting off now..."His black side continued, as they picked up Hidan bridal style and walked off the train.

"We're going home" Zetsu's both sides said, simultaneously.


End file.
